When i grow up..
for many years, most of my life, i have viewed myself as just a child never aging or growing up at all. when i was younger and would go to my mom and dads school where they taught i would see even middle school children and be in awe at how big and smart and cool they were. looking back it did not seem tat long ago even though it was over a decade ago. then when i had finally made it into middle school i felt like i had arrived and was a big deal at the time. all the while looking up to high schoolers as if they were grown adults and defined cool in their own unique style and character. then as i started to grow up more and more i was becoming that which i had idolized for so long. in high school i feel felt that my youth was the predominant side of my personality coming out when i was with my friends. no one wanted to grow up and in our minds we were never going to. however with each passing day we would grow further from the kids we have come to enjoy to the adults we looked up to. growing up into the college students that we are now has been bitter sweet in most cases. we have more freedom which we have been seeking since childhood but the relationships built up along the way are scattered all over and far to distant. now is when we have to plan for our future and choose to grow up, something that now i wish i didnt have to do. i have to think of what i want to do when i grow up. even though i have been looking and waiting for these moments my whole life now i feel like they are simply being thrusted upon me very unwanted and unwelcomed. so as for me growing up or knowing what i want or need when i grow up i cannot yet say. so far in my life i have taken things as they came, take them in stride and keep on going. so that is exactlly what i plan on doing, when i grow up.
